You spend most of your day communicating with others.  Your employees, your customers, your donors, your peers, your family.  But, did you know that over 65% of that communication time is spent listening to others, not talking with them?    So, ask yourself, Am I a good active listener?

Active listening is more than just hearing the words of others.  It is purposeful, focused and deliberative.  It is being very aware of the other’s words, use of volume and stress, and body language.   It is following up with them if their verbal and nonverbal behaviors make you wonder if something is not quite right or that there might be more than meets the eye. 

As you use active listening skills, three actions on your part are important:

Remaining Neutral:  Your role is not to determine if the speaker is right or wrong.  Your role is to simply listen to their words and  observe nonverbal behaviors.

Giving Full Attention:  Listen to the speaker with full attention .    Don’t plan your response while the speaker is talking or try solve the problem. 

Paraphrasing:  Take the speaker’s words, rework them and say them back.  This will help you determine if you have heard the speaker’s message correctly.  Here is an example:

Speaker:  “I think I should find another job.”

• Possible Response #1: I wouldn’t spend another day in this place.
• Possible Response #2: Are you crazy?
• Possible Response #3: Company/Agency X is hiring  and they have better benefits.
• Possible Response #4:  I hear you saying that you are unhappy with your work.  You are not feeling satisfied  with what you do.  You think it would be best for you to find another job.

What response demonstrates active  listening?  Make a resolve to use active listening skills ,in your both your professional and personal life, starting today!